1866: Echoing Adventures in Cyber yber yber yber, Part 2

He opened the box. He then after he had already opened the box removed the towel from the box and took the gun out of the towel in the box. It was a lever-action straight grip Henry .22. He then knew what he had to do. It all came clear to him, as clear as the sky can tend to be during certain parts of the year in which clouds are infrequent. Just then, old Mrs. Bonnie Russel came galloping in. He gasped. She tweeted. She knew all along.
"I...I..." he stammered.
"You what?" she demanded, farting rapidly like a broken motor.
"I thought..."
"Yes?" she was growing impatient. New text message. Bridget. wuts up when r u guys coming down? do u guys need drinks im about 2 go on a liqour run
Finally, he spoke. His tone was pleading and confessional. "I didn't know what I was doing." he shook as he spoke. "I thought I could handle it. I didn't know it was you. I didn't mean to kill the boy. I thought I was more handsome. I didn't know she could hear me. I thought it was a urinary tract infection. I didn't see the holes in the wall. I thought it was all a game. I didn't understand what she was saying. I thought the mule was already dead. I couldn't smell the sulfur. I didn't realize we were being watched. I thought my horses could handle it. I didn't realize it was Diet. I thought she'd ordered a small. I didn't know how it was supposed to look. I thought it was a possum. I wrongly considered the vicissitudes inherent to the tenuous subject of alterity to be extraneous, when in actuality the mobility of "otherness," as explored through the work of Spivak (2003) and Kristeva (1999), is central to the question of mimesis in poststructuralist accounts of subjectivity and difference. I didn't realize it was loaded. I thought he'd ordered a pickle and some coon bark. I didn't realize it was pure copper. I thought I'd gone down the other street. I..."
His pathetic begs for mercy were interrupted by a Skype call. It was the Sheriff, on his high horse, Bucky. "Quiet down there!" The sheriff's eyes shot out at different directions like Marty Feldman's, and his voice had the tone quality of a choking duck. "You're a bad man and you've committed a crime at a point before this story had begun. Many other events have transpired that have led the populous of this small 19th century American Western town to consider you a common scoundrel. I sentence you to death by Having A Player Piano Dropped On Yr Head."
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo etc

To Be Continued

1866: Echoing Adventures in Cyber yber yber yber

Money. Boys, we need money. All the poached hen in upper Arkansas can't gild our washtubs and sanitize our washwomen. This is a time of great contention and it is not yet certain that our fucks are in order. Get on the Youtube, boys, get on in there for the long haul. Tie a hair clipping dipped in molasses to a mule and send it to West Twitter. get out a Big Fucking Picture of a Fish and Look at It. SNEESUS, MOSES, AND HARRIET. NEVER IN THE LIKES OF THREE CONSECUTIVE ALL-COUNTY EQUINE FISTICUFFS SYMPOSIUMS HAVE I SNYFF'D THE LIKES OF THREE ALL-COUNTY BEAN-BURSTIN' HOOCHY COOCH LIKE THAT'N. What do you say, old fuckers? "Sure's shootin, she's mighty fine...jus' itchin' for a status update!" #Sheriff Longabee: Uh-uh-uh, this ain't the time for rustlin' about. As I been sayin, we need to settle down a minute, don't be jumping the fence in an antique Mobile Upload like your crepuscular old hallway-starin' granny. "My oldest just had her first poop in the commode. My second youngest, Harold, died in childbirth and my oldest, Patricia, works for the Acquisitions department in an Old Time Saloon just down the Dirt Road from over there because it's the Old West and horses and tequila and milk

To Be Continued

Marxist Dinosaurs and their Detractors

Here is the link to a one-act play I wrote, called "Marxist Dinosaurs and their Detractors." It is an absurdist slapstick musical play extravaganza, which I submitted as a final project for a boring and nominally misleading class called "Art + Politics." It's only 12 pages, and, being a play, it contains more blank space than a short story and is thus a far quicker read. So plz read it! It's funny! Help me put it on someday! (Or is it more of a closet drama, a la Faust? The dinosaurs, admittedly, are a considerable challenge.) The title should be summarizing enough for you to get the idea of what you're getting into.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/l5n23v

The most common themes in my dreams, of the past several months

1. Reuniting with old friends or old flames and having nothing to say at all
2. Being pursued by murderous gangs, ie. the mafia, the KGB, the government, the Illuminati, etc.--and consequently fearing for my life
3. Being a cast member in horror film projects in which the film eventually begins to blur with reality
4. Running through fields and obscure wilderness

Where are they now?

I'm sitting in the college library as nursing students make powerpoints about the Metaphysics of Silly Bands and I'm looking around to make sure there aren't any attractive or important looking people as I fart and fart, slowly and trudgingly. I break up what would be big, voluminous farts, mobilized in other situations for purposes of offense or humor, into tiny, slow, silent fragments. The smell creeps up. Pretty girl leans in to show me her silly bands. She gets "all up in my face." There are twelve of them. She is silent and her face is humorless. She doesn't remove them from her arm. I panic, and in my state of mental disrepair, I accidentally let an audible fart emerge. She remains unfettered. A dog in Helsinki remembers eating a banana.

Graham Christler Hepatitis Wanna See a Picture of my Dog

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Humorous Re-titlings of Critical Texts

Milfologies by Ronald Barfes




























That's all I could think of! Thanks, guys!