Tuesday, January 25, 2011

State of the union 2011

Big noise hard farts. Entrance. Soft farts. Keep spittle in cups. Awkward high heels. A decorated military Amy Sedaris in a desert of breathy chuckles.

Prezy Boy b-town Clinton Friedman steps up, farts, burps, shits, claps twice

Fellow-boyz, fellow-ghurls, gimme a big long wet stick I'ma show u my real bizness. This is 2011, the Coming of the new world big town Govvy-gov order for panzies and coarse Texan 'noid-boyz. (John Bon Boner groans: "you'd think they could soften the seat cushion, the Regular Feeling in my soft ass feels Some-what Altered") But this isn't pubbyboyz or demmyjoyz, this is New Town General Electric neolib 1970something, and my gunnyboys got a little slice of "coup d'etat, crossaint, deja vu"(nervously clammering for pocket French handbook)
Honoring distinguished colleagues section:
)( hurley international
V nike
M macdolands
$ Wld B'ank
:) nafta
:^ twitter
(5g) five guys
/\ Clintonian neoliberal "triangulation" policies

Man, yo, turn that shit off. I need a water cracker. I need a pillow. I need a crumb. I need a smart car. MAN I NEED A BIG BROWN CD ROM.

"It is my honer and privelege to present to you two decent men: Mr. Milton Freed-man and Dr. Joe Boehner-Goebbels, disdainguished colleagues and horse cleanliness advisors." take two good looks. each fart. Equine Sterility Level determined at 60% ^ from 1935. uhplause. Come on, a god damn no good Chilean farmer-faggot could be doing this shit. bring in some real bossboys. This horsey business is getting fishey.
Flash again to enormous sideways poster of a military decorated Amy Sedaris frozen in a crowd of anxiously slithering fart cells

hasteful breaths
Jon Bon Boehner-Jovi Goebells Friedman looks out from under his soft wet brown visage
"Shit, lotta fresh porkin' meat out thar"

Barry utters one boisterous clipped laugh. Audience imitates.
"It really is awful now isn't it?" nervous, very very very nervous laughter. Coughs. (resigned, humorous, petty tone) "I am going to have to sell you all to the IMF." very very very very nervous guilty laughter. "(godfather references)(pizza)"

Toby Continued
Happy Prezzy day Brack Finster Belarus-Wurallfuct

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