1. False dogs can be born but never die. If your dog reaches the normal age of dog termination but resists the natural forces of decay, your dog could be a false dog. False dogs outlive all humans. If you realize you have purchased a false dog, and you reach the age that you may want to consider partitioning your estate to your loved ones, include the caretaking of your dog as a condition in your will.
2. False dogs are indestructable. If you attempt to kill a false dog, even by burning or mutilation, the dog will reassemble seamlessly.
3. A very subtle, mostly inaudible, static accompanies a false dog's bark. It is as though the radio is all fucked up in the dog